Now that the Internet has made pornography accessible, many insist that watching adult films serves to strengthen relations in a couple. Is it so? It all depends on the goals and desires of two.

At school, I had a friend convinced that “pornography” is written through “A”: “Well, the couples have sex, therefore“ Parnography ”, of course!”

Since then, everyone has been convinced that the most different number of people in the most bizarre combinations could have sex. And in pornographic films, these combinations are demonstrated even more often than “ordinary” pair sex.

And let couples in porn not on the first roles, they make up a noticeable part of the audience of films for adults. Is it good or bad?

Female interest

It is believed that watching pornography is a male occupation. “Men in sex, visual incentives are much more important than women,” explains the sexologist and psychotherapist Irina Panyukova. But the situation is changing, and this is not so much connected with a change in human nature as with technological progress.

Previously, pornographic products could be purchased only in special places, often in areas with a dubious reputation. And the appearance of women there was not only reprehensible, but also unsafe. Today to download porno cloth, just have a smartphone.

And women are more and more willing to experiment: polls confirm that they watch porn quite actively

And not less than a third of the respondents watch him (at least sometimes) together with partner 1 . This is a relatively recent trend, and experts are not yet ready to say unequivocally about its consequences.

“I don’t know how useful porn films for steam are

detailed description

. This is definitely not a mandatory component of sexual life, but it is hardly a violation, ”says Gestalt therapist Ann Sozed-Klad. – This topic began to actively arise in my communication with clients only recently. You need to wait to understand what the results will be “.

I agree with her family therapist Anna Varga: “As the viewing of porn itself affects a couple, we are not yet unknown. But it is important to figure out why and how exactly the partners watch “hot” videos “.

Subjects and objects

The situation when the wife finds her husband for watching pornography is just as anecdotal as she is vital, which will confirm any psychotherapist (or lawyer for divorce proceedings). At the same time, men are perplexed about the rapid indignation of partners – after all, this is not a betrayal, you think, I looked at the pictures.

However, the reaction of women is not only explained, but also justified, Irina Panyukova believes: “It doesn’t matter for a woman what object the attention of a man is aimed at if it is not aimed at her. Entering an intimate relationship (if we are not talking about one night), we have sex not with the body, but with a person.

And when not a partner excites, but another (person or object), then depersonalization occurs. And the woman feels only the object of the implementation of sexual impulses caused not by her. “.

Often, one of the partners participates in these views forced to please another.

“Let’s say one of the two from porn is excited and looks for this. And he wants to have a partner at hand, so that this excitement is immediately put into business, ”Anna Varga argues. – The other is not excited, but goes to meet his partner, perhaps neglecting his needs for the sake of someone else’s pleasure. But if in a pair the same partner is constantly inferior to another, this inevitably leads to a deterioration in relations. “.

Calling rejection can both view pornography in general, and its specific features. 23-year-old Jeanne says that at first, watching a pornographic video along with Denis even liked it.

“But then it began to happen more often. And Denis more and more insisted that we watched not just porn, but Hentai – Japanese pornoaltfilms with horned demons, tentacles and other nonsense, ”recalls Jeanne. -And at some point I realized that he did not have sex with me, but with his cartoon demons. “.

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